America's Next Top Model recap
After a several-seasons-long hiatus, Tyra brought back the "sexy episode" on last night's America's Next Top Model. And while the show started out on the right foot with a Tyra-plays-photographer shoot and lessons on how to be sexy by, of all people, Dita von Teese (seriously, how did they get her to be on the show?!?), it quickly went downhill when the models' challenge was to strut down a dining table in G-Unit slutswear while modeling agents had a dinner party. What? Melrose won the challenge, as she's been doing a lot lately, and even though she's kind of annoying, you have to admit she's good. I'm betting she'll be in the top three. Anyway, the show really sank to new depths of disgustingness when, for the main photo shoot, the girls had to pose for a faux bodice-ripper cover with...Fabio. Okay, maybe if the photos were supposed to be campy, I could possibly see it, but the photos were actually supposed to be sexy (since when are bodice-ripper covers actually sexy anyway?), a premise that was vastly unachievable due to the nasty, lecherous presence of Fabio (who's got to be pushing 50 by now--ewww). I had to hide behind a pillow when it was time for him to pose with Anchal, and I think I threw up a little in my mouth when Melrose started to flirt with him. Gross, gross, gross. Seriously, how did they go from Dita von Teese to Fabio in one mere episode? Poor Brooke, a girl so wholesome, I didn't know her kind even existed in this country anymore, had major trouble all throughout the "sexy" episode and ended up getting sent home. Even worse, she had the audacity to mention that that night was her high school graduation--and I think Tyra was going to blow smoke through her nostrils at the mere suggestion that there could be something more important in life than her show. Oh, the nerve, dear Brooke!